You and You and You
by Bellisario
Summary: Why, bloody hell, she's DEAD! Or not... at least she's supposed to be. The voices in her head, you know those don't you?, became a little too much...Little stupid muggle killed herself and ended up..yeah?... and believe it or not - this is SLASH!


A/N: Nyah! I've decided to praise the fabtastic world of HP fiction with my presence again! WHAA! *twitch twitch* 

All right... I can see that no one is peculiarly impressed... 

Hrm... I'm all right though... *goes to stand in a corner* Oh bloody hell...

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READ AND REVIEW

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You and You and You

Chapter One 

"SHUT UP!" Banging her head in to a wall didn't seem to help that very much. _It _was till there, still talking, still annoying, still those light _thud_ over and over again. 

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Thud. 

Thud. 

No one's here but...

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Thud. Hello? Hello!?

"I - SAID - SHUT - UP!" Only the knife was left to use then. Lying in the kitchen-drawer, the shining, sharp and pretty steel. She picked it up, scared and screaming and hurting and dying, slipping away, but not enough. 

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Thud.

If she hurt, the voices would hurt, because the voices were she and if she died they would die.

The girl sliced her wrists, watching blood pour out of her body and feeling life fade away with a never swaying confidence. 

Her Mother would be disappointed finding her only daughter dead and shredded, sliced, dead and gone, but no more voices speaking. 

"This is your fault" she whispered and descended to the floor, thinking it would be a final end. 

¨¨¨¨¨¨

I believe it is my right to refuse to believe it. It is not true. I am not here. I am not responsible for what I did, for what happened for this extremely unbelievable situation I now I am forced to face - I refuse to accept it, believe it, face it. I am not here, if I close my eyes, if I can't see them, they can't see me. This is not happening. GET - ME - OUT - OF -HERE.

This wasn't how I wanted it. There's still a buzzing in my head, if I listen carefully...

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Help...

Somebody... help.

No! It's not true! No. It's my right not to believe. 

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What's happening? Where am I?

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" 

"What the fuck, James, wake up now!" She heard someone else, someone doubtless real. 

But still... James? Who? Me? _No!_

A 'Somebody' shook here furiously with strong hands. She screamed out loud, figuring something not good at all was going on. She pressed her eyes shut, escaping in to something dark, but sunlight shone through her eyelids and the dark became red and flaming, not at all comforting. 

Go away. Leave me alone. Go. Beat off. Disappear. 

  
"I DEMAND YOU TO DISAPPEAR!" 

Wow.

Screaming really did feel good, if you did it the right way. But there was still someone shaking her. 

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What the fuck is going on here! 

"Merlin... wake up James!" 

More voices.

"What's going on Remus?" That was someone sleepy. "What are you guys shouting over?"

"Nothing, Peter. Just this git, who's refusing to open his eyes. Argh, I hate it when..." 

She heard chuckling. 

"Let me try?"

Slap. That bloody hurt. Slap, again. Who the hell...

"Sirius! You'll beat the poor guy black and blue! Oh, gerroff him will you?" 

Enough now _please_. "Please, leave..." She sniffled weakly, curling her body in to a ball of fright. "Go away!" 

There was silence for a moment. Then came the voice again, the first. 

"Must be some bloody nightmare he's dreaming, huh?"

A cold hand lightly patted her cheek, and tilted her face upwards. "James?" 

A nightmare? Would this be a nightmare? And I'm not James. 

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I AM JAMES!

Who are you? She opened her eyes slightly, peering up at a blur of faces, bent over where she lay, sprawled out on a comfortable bed. 

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I'm-

"Wonders of wonders; He's alive!" someone remarked dryly. "Wow... Really."

"Oh, shurrup doggie."

"_Doggie_!?" A gasp. "Don't you get rude on me Pettigrew!" Laughing and squealing. A lot of muffled sounds. Headache. Her eyes opened fully. They widened at the sight. 

He was beautiful, bent over her with a frown.

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Honestly, it's just Remus....

Shut up you... not now....

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WHAT? SHUT UP!? ME!? HEY YOU LIST--

Yes, you. Shut up Now.

But-

"James, are you all right now?" The teenage boy chuckled and eyed her with a grin, tucking the blankets around her to cover up what was too visible. "You were screaming and all... made me jump out of me bloody skin, you did, Jamesy." He laughed and straightened up, walking over to another corner of the room, where he flopped down on a bed with a deep breath. "Could you please shut the fuck up now, animals over there, on the floor?" 

"Animals, _eh_?" 

The girl looked at a tall one, with long raven hair and a wide grin spread across a handsome face. Tucked under his arm were another boys' head, strawberry blond and short compared to his friend. 

"Yes Sirius. That's exactly what you're acting like." Remus pursed his lips, resting on his elbows as he glared at the two. "Please, may we go back to slee-"  


"I give you for animals!" He who was called Sirius jumped on to his feet on an instant, dropping the blond, Peter or Pettigrew for sure. She didn't have time to apprehend what had happened, more than a flash of light, but all of sudden a huge, black dog was standing in Sirius place, wagging his tail and dangling his pink tongue. With a delighted bark, the dog had taken a great jump on to Remus' bed, positioning himself upon him, licking his face, wagging the tail even more rapidly than before.

She felt herself roll her eyes, without knowing why. 

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That's just so Padfoot. Someone said? _HEY! You! _

Why are you still talking? I thought I got rid of you when I... 

She sighed.

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May I have myself back...now?

You?

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It's not very comforting here, where I am, you know. Ever heard of claustrophobia?

What the heck are you talking about? Where are you? Where am I? 

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You're on Hogwarts, of course. And I am.... 

Hogwarts? What's Hogwarts?

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Oh don't be silly.

"James!?" 

She perked her head up and stared at Sirius calling. He was back in human shape, wearing leather. Damn leather... She turned he gaze away from him, uncomfortable and naked under the blankets. "What?" 

This sucked. This was confusing. 

Where's the dark the silence the sleep of eternity? Why can't I die properly, just like everyone else? 

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I come it off. No suicidal thoughts in MY head please.

I'm not suicidal. I _was_. And so I took care of the problem, by killing myself to get rid of guess who? 

Me?

That's right. 

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What have I done?

You were knocking...

A sharp pain hit her cheek suddenly. Her eyes widened as she realised that Sirius had just hit her - again.

"Get a hang of yourself man", he exclaimed, slapping her again, two more times, three more. "ARE YOU AWAKE?"

"Sirius..." she heard Peter mumble. "I think you've made your point clear." 

"No, Wormtail, you little brat, I _obviously_ haven't. This airhead ain't listening!"  


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Oh, just listen to him till he's satisfied or else he'll beat you unconscious without hesitation.

The voice snorted.

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I can't believe I've actually still got my common sense left in this situation. Well, of course I always was famous for my brilliant mind and- 

Are you James?

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YES! I am so glad that has finally come to your attention! Oh, Merlins' beard... I thought you'd never-

James? 

Yes?

Why am I James?

How the hell should I know? I'm just stuck in here, in a tine little vacant space - and it's bloody freaking me out here I'd might have to tell you, I mean, ghee, can you believe it? You wake up one day and whoopa! Some chick, some schizophrenic chick, is checking out me mates and- 

S'not like it's my fault they're good looking.

Hah! You should take a look at me!

What do you mean?

What do you mean, what do you mean?

She rose up from the bed with a frustrated sigh, quickly pulling the blankets to her body, clutching them tightly. Without a look at the others in the room, she'd made her way to the bathroom, guided by this "James" in her head. 

Seeing the reflection in the mirror, it made her scream. Remus and Sirius and Peter rushed in to find her standing there, her fingers trembling over the glass. 

Where had her face gone and her chest? Her waist, her hair and body? Where had she gone?

Looking back at her stood a boy around sixteen, seventeen with a tussled hairdo and a face with porcelain-white skin. His lips opened, when hers did, his steel grey eyes widened when hers did. Were these his friends, standing behind her with worried expressions? Was this his body, appearing in front of her, to be her? In that case, where would she be? 

"Alright, what the _heck_ is going on?" little Peter exclaimed and jumped up and down. His blond fringe frustrated him by blowing in to his eyes. 

"Yeah, someone please do tell..." the girl whispered.

"Did you have a bad dream James?" Remus asked and took her arm, leading her back to the bedroom. She shook her head feverishly.

"No, no. I'm not James... James is in my head." Isn't that right?

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You're making me sound like a psycho, dear.

Remus laughed nervously and made her sit down on the edge of his bed. "Do you need anything? Water? Food? Anything, James?" 

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Tell them you're fine.

"I'm fine..." she fixated her eyes on the wall in front of her. "Jolly good." I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Are you?

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Not really...

"Are you sure?" Remus tilted her head up to put his hand on her forehead, looking for fever with a concerned frown. The girl took her time to look closely at the three of them, in front of her. _Friends._ Where was this? Why? 

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I believe you've taken my body. He spoke softly to her._ You're dead. I'm not. You're me, but I'm still here. Please, don't worry. We'll sort this out, love... Go to Dumbledore... he'll tell you what to do... _

But the tears were already pouring down. 

Disc: I'm poor. Owns nothing. *dies* 

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End file.
